What do you do?

It’s a question we like to ask when we meet someone new. It’s a question I’ve been asked a lot in the seven months since I arrived in Somerset. Retired people often boast they are busier now than when they were in paid employment. We are active humans, I understand that, but as the cliché says: we were made as human beings, not human doings. So why do we find it so hard just to be? On retreat, just before lockdown, I was deeply challenged that my worth is not linked to what I do.

I came home excited by the thought that my value is in me being me but then lockdown happened and overnight my job description became unattainable. In the first couple of weeks I worked hard to find ways to do it differently, to keep busy ‘at work’, but I realised it wasn’t possible and since then I have struggled with feelings of worthlessness because I can’t ‘do’. On retreat, I loved the theory, but in practice, how can I have worth when I’m not doing anything of worth?

Then I remembered Jesus’ baptism. The Holy Spirit came close and the Father said: ‘This is my beloved son with whom I am well pleased’. Jesus had performed no miracles, spoken no teaching and had no disciples at that point, yet his full worth was acknowledged.

I then saw a cat rolling in the hot soil and heard God ask: ‘Is that cat achieving anything?’ Yet we delight in that cat because it’s being itself. It is the same with you. Our biggest smile is reserved for when you are truly being yourself. May we continue to learn that our worth doesn’t come from what we can or can’t do during lockdown but comes from the God who says to each of us ‘this is my child, whom I love’.

Katherine Lyddon

Children and Families Rural Pioneer in Tone Deanery